On Shaving

I think old people often mistake stubborness for wisdom. "It's always been done, therefore it's wise." To this day, I see no wisdom in a man scraping the hairs from his face with a razor. It is at least unnatural and possibly even unhealthy. I am sorry, face, for what I have done. I will never violate you in such a brutal way again. Some men (maybe most) have less sensitive skin, and will not understand my protest. Others may argue that I simply need to apply more chemicals (aftershave) to my face to force tolerance. I say you're all mad, and if a woman will not stand by her man's right to judge for himself, then she is accurately calling him "her" man. For his next trick, he may very well denounce his friends and openly mock his former opinions.

This amazes me:

One of the first things we learn on this planet is language (in our case, English). We spend our lives perfecting it, yet grown men and women refuse to use this miracle to express themselves to each other. This is especially true of loved ones, and is, to me, proof that people are, at heart, terrified of each other. No matter how atrocious one's behavior is, if you don't communicate your opinion, you may as well sign a petition asking all of mankind to behave in a similar manner. I will never respond to hints, body language, or murmuring. Stop hiding from people, communicate your disapprovals in English (and in person), or harbor the cancer and die.